LOVE AND SEX

Green flags and red flags: How to know you’re on the right track

We’ve broken down relationship green flags and red flags to help identify potential warning signs and appreciate the good in your partner.

BY KISAVI JAY|PUBLISHED: SEP 29, 2025

Green Flags and Red Flags: Signs You’re Headed the Right Way

A checklist for spotting healthy relationship dynamics

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No one wants to experience heartbreak. Well, maybe the poets and writers for emotional inspiration. But none of us truly do. You wouldn’t willingly choose to tread down the dark alley that leads to getting your heart mugged. Salty words, mascara-stained tears, and screenshots of texts you wish you didn’t read/send may sound familiar.

You’ve probably spent an undesirable amountta’ time laying on the grey-cement floors, crying over the ‘what-could’ve-beens’, while wondering where it all went wrong. Could you have potentially avoided that horrid break-up? Could you have possibly known that that first smile, first ‘hi’, and first sweet kiss would’ve led you here? No? Well, that’s just it.

Relationships can be hard to navigate without a proper map. A beacon to tell you you’re headed the right way. Green to indicate you’re safe or a red to signal danger! Enter green flags and red flags – a checklist to help navigate the dating world.

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Green Flags to Watch Out For

The green lights at your traffic stop, signalling ‘Go!’, are the qualities in a partner that contribute to a healthy relationship, meeting your needs and wants. They’re signs that tell you you’re with the right one.

Here are a few green flags to keep in mind:

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1. Good Communication

More often than not, many arguments can be avoided with clear communication. Are you able to speak your mind freely? Is your relationship a safe space for both of you to bring up issues, concerns, and desires without being shut out? Good communication in a relationship looks like an S.O who listens intently without interrupting, understands you, and communicates respectfully.

2. Emotionally Vulnerable

In my opinion, this green flag is what builds a strong foundation in a relationship. An emotionally intelligent partner who is open to sharing their feelings with you is a must. This isn’t just about the good times, but about letting you in on their griefs, frustrations, and hardships. A partner who shares their trauma, triggers, hopes, and dreams allows you to know them deeper and understand them better.

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3. Isn’t Afraid to Apologise

A rare and valuable quality in a person is one who isn’t afraid to apologise. How attractive is it when your date takes accountability for their actions instead of diverting blame? Right? You feel seen, heard, acknowledged. It helps resolve conflicts much quicker and smoothly, too!

4. Respects Your Boundaries

Ever feel pressured to try or do something that made you feel uncomfortable? Felt as though they may leave you, if not? Did you question whether your boundaries were even realistic due to the constant push against them? Girl, it’s just not worth it! You deserve a partner who doesn’t coerce you into doing what you don’t wanna’ and honours your limits.

5. Encouraging and Supportive

A S.O who sees and values your ambitions, recognising your potential, and pushes you towards your goals is a non-negotiable for me. And it should definitely be for you, too. Date someone who wants the best for you and values your passions and future.

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Red flags

Red flags (sigh). The warning signs that scream ‘Stop! Potential heartbreak ahead.’ This is what’ll help you recognise the danger and jump out of the speeding vehicle headed towards that ditch.

Here’s what you need to look out for:

1. Ill-tempered

Frequent verbal or physical altercations aren’t a sign of deep emotional care or respect. This can even look like a partner who withdraws and gives you the silent treatment without wanting to address conflicts in a healthy and respectful manner.

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2. Dishonest and/or Secretive

Deception isn’t just giving out false information; it’s also providing particular details of the story that paint a different picture. Either way, you’re not being offered the whole truth. And a half-truth is practically a lie. A partner who deliberately avoids certain topics or hides information isn’t just secretive — they’re dishonest.

3. Goes Back on Their Word

A person who can’t stick to their word is unreliable and irresponsible. Constantly leaving you hanging and dry, their inability to stand by their promises weakens trust.

4. Lack of Respect and Empathy

You know what’s an instant block for me? A person who lacks empathy and invalidates your emotions, thoughts, and experiences. A lack of respect may leave you feeling unseen, unheard, and even devalued and broken down.

5. Controlling and Possessive

From the little things, such as what you wear and eat, to the bigger ones concerning your friends, career, and future, do they have a say in everything you do? This may look like harmless concern at the start, but be wary if the behaviour persists. Possessiveness in a partner may appear as them imposing rules and restrictions, expecting obedience and treating you like a child instead of an equal.

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Green Flag or Red Flag? You pick

Whether you want the rush and high of lust, a strong emotional connection, or a sense of belonging, knowing what you truly desire and deserve can help you avoid heartbreak. You’re meant to be recognised and valued by your partner, just as much as you care for them. Here’s to healthier relationships with these green and red flags as your guide! 🥂