We’ve all got our preferences when it comes to picking a partner. And if you’re looking for long-term commitment, you sure have a list of standards you hope the person you’re seeing checks off. Does he have a stable job? Does he have a savings account? Retirement plan? It isn’t just the brown girl in you that wants security, but simply a desire in all of us women.

But when does having financial standards blur into being materialistic? Enter Broke Boy Propaganda, a term coined on TikTok, describing the romantic ideal of the artistic, emotionally intelligent, vulnerable, but financially unstable lover. You’ve spotted this hottie in multiple movies – The Notebook, Aladdin, Lady and the Tramp, Endless Love (2014), and a buncha’ Hallmark films.

The term blew up over the summer, when fans of Materialists took to socials to vent over the ending and their disappointment with (Dakota Johnson) Lucy’s choice. What seemed to be a romcom revival – “romcoms are so back!” – sparked a dating debate — one that spilt far beyond cinema into real-life relationships. Do you pick the rich and stable guy who promises a life of security at the expense of true love? Or risk it all for the broke guy with a heart of gold?

Who is the Broke Boy?

You’ve seen him before. The underdog (Noah from The Notebook), the whimsical dreamer (Jack from Titanic), the charming Southern man (Jake from Sweet Home Alabama). You’ve fallen for him each time.

But here’s the part the movies skip: the broke man IRL may not always be just “down on his luck”. Sometimes he’s just lacking ambition and responsibility. This can lead to lifestyle clashes and a partner that feels insecure aboutcha’ success, often dimming your light. And suddenly, that passionate underdog doesn’t look so dreamy anymore.

Why every girl and their mama is mad

The issue doesn’t just lie with who the Broke Boy is, but how Hollywood keeps serving him on a silver tray. Romcoms, period dramas, YA flicks, you name it – all have the beautiful and charismatic heroine back in the arms of the guy who has little to offer. And while it is heartwarming (a trope I’ll eat up every single watch), fans are tired of this narrative.

Cross-status romances aren’t new. Take Pretty Woman, The Sound of Music, and Crazy Rich Asians – all stories where the poor girl ends up with the richer guy. But the reverse, where the female lead chooses the poor guy over the wealthier one? Hollywood never seems to let it go. From the Materialists to the countless Hallmark films, the pattern screams one thing: lower your standards and settle.

But this narrative isn’t just a Hollywood trope; it’s rooted in history.

Why women value financial security

Historically, women couldn’t own assets or property in their own name. Marrying well often meant stability for themselves and their families. It wasn’t too long ago that women could finally join the workforce, open bank accounts, and own property under their own names. And even with this newfound independence, that fear and desire for financial security remain.

On the flip side of things, men have standards too. Not usually about money or status, but more looks-centred — which, like ours, also has generational and biological roots.

The line between security and materialism

Financial security matters. It’s one of the most important traits in a relationship. But when does it cross the line into materialism? You can’t label it all shallow, but when money starts defining a person’s value and undermining their character – well then that’s a red flag shimmering gold, babe.

Financial struggles are real, and poverty shouldn’t block anyone from love. But mismatched ambition, economic gaps, and societal expectations can sour even the sweetest romance.

Unpaid bills, taxes, overpriced groceries, and unfulfilled wants all add up. Class creeps in, too, through family, education, social circles, hobbies, and more. And without realising it, you’re quietly scanning your partner against your list, wondering if they actually are “good enough”.

But where does love and money leave you? Is love really a far-off dream – something out of reach for those financially burdened? With dating standards shutting so many out, it does seem like your heartbeat is measured by a bank account.

Is love a luxury?

At the end of the day, love is the familiar face you come home to, the scent that greets you at the door, and the warmth of the arms you know all too well. Whether it’s the man who’s well established in the fancy apartment or the one-bedroom dreamer with big ambitions, you know the heart that sees yours.

Yes, money, status, and ambition sure do make life so much easier. But compassion, patience, understanding, and gentleness? These make your heart feel cherished. Because the thing is, love is more than just fancy gifts and luxury dinner dates. Love is the person who shares your hopes, laughs at ya’ quirks, and sticks by you through sickness and grief. Love – something so essential – shouldn’t be unaffordable.